Courtesy of Yen Tan's Camera...

The film's almost through the editing cycle. I'll have a better poster comp later too. This one's just for fun. I just wanted people to know we're actually making progress! It's coming along rather nicely too. I can't wait to start showing it to people.

More to come...

Gentlemen, start your checkbooks!

OMG! Off-topic post alert!!!

If it's Tuesday, then it must be...
NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS ON DVD DAY!!!!!!

Holy poop! I'd personally shill out the extra ten buckazoids for the 2 disc gold collector's edition.

Learn the secrets of JOHN WILKES BOOTHE'S DIARY! The world ISN'T READY TO BELIEVE!!

Danger and peril await! But you don't have to, um...await any longer. Bring home the magic, TODAY!



Hopefully this Nicholas Cage film will get the audience it deserves. Unlike the wrongfully maligned FUTURE CLASSIC that is Neil Labute's WICKER MAN.




Ahhh! THE BEES!!!!


Hey!

You wanna know a national secret?



I love you!

My Mom Smokes Weed!

(Nate n' Sylvia! Together again, for the first time!)

So, apparently I'm now shooting short films faster than I can edit them. I still have barely begun work on THE TIMENATRIX, and I've already finished photography on the follow up film.



This is my mother and me (and the top of a target my mom blew away at the shooting range).



This is my mother (kinda) portrayed by actress Sylvia Luedtke. Yes she is rolling a smoke. No it isn't tobacco (it's not weed either, thanks to the great fakery of Ellen Weaver).

The title pretty much sums up the movie. Oh, to clarify, the title of this post IS in fact the title of the new short. MMSW, as many of us have come to call it.

I realized that the majority of pics in my little Cannon Elph camera are not so hot. Fortunately, the pics from both my producer Yen Tan's and Adam Donaghey's cameras are VERY hot (mucho caliente!). See Adam's blog here for the proof.

Anyway, I'm very curious to see how this film shapes up. It's my first stab at anything even remotely autobiographical (albeit significantly embellished). It was nerve wracking during the audition process. Hearing actors attempt a stab at my mannerisms (via the scripted dialogue, primarily) and my mother's. It wasn't until the rehearsal phase that I was able to let go of the concept that this is a verbatim retelling of an episode from my life, and just let it live as a slightly humorous, hopefully identifiable situation in which a child is mortified by a parent, and then has to accept the fact that perhaps he can look at said parent as a person, and not just an ex-authority figure. Likewise, the parent is forced to see her child as a free-standing adult. Now I'm just waxing my psycho-babble T-bird, so I'll let it go.

Anyway, I'm already proud of it, even without a lick of editing accomplished. It's also the first time I completely divorced myself from camera operating duties (except for during The Timenatrix, when it was a necessity, since I was starring in it). Thankfully, I had two amazing and trustworthy lighting cameramen on the job. David Lowery and my long-term D.P. Jason Croft did an amazing job, with very little to work with. I think we had four lights. It was tough for me to stand back, but I think I did okay. Thanks guys, for understanding my silly anxieties.

I will post later of the editorial progress. For now, I've got this on my plate, as well as The Timenatrix (on which I may be officially handing over editorial duties to Blair Rowan, post haste), AND the rewrite on our (hopefully) next feature, THE ABDUCTORS. Not to mention, we're about to regroup for the next leg of KIDDO photography. Oh yeah, and there's a potential web series too, starring Chris Gardner as a Dungeonmaster. Fun!

Finally, a few farewells. Firstly, to Adam Donaghey, who is off to Atlanta for something like 6 months to earn money to pay for my films (wink, wink). Next, to James Johnston, who is off to a deserving festival run for the brilliant short MERRILY, MERRILY, which he just completed. Also, to Yen Tan, whose outstanding feature CIAO is also making significant strides on the festival circuit. I will actually have the good fortune of attending the Miami screening of the film WITH MY MOTHER at the beginning of May! And last, but certainly not least, to David Lowery, who is spending over a month in New York, working on a secret film project that I'm certain will be amazing.

TTFN!

Clay

2008, I hope you brought a fresh pair of undies!

SPOILER ALERT!!!!! I made another short film while you were taking a shower (or whatever you were doing in the bathroom that required the water to run full blast for like 40 minutes. Hey, I'm not judging).

Yes, 2008 is shaping up to be a pretty bitchin year. THE ABDUCTORS is just about to enter active pre-production for 6 weeks, to be followed by an 18 day shoot. Finally (jinx! jinx!)!

If you go to David Lowery's blog, you can see how well ST. NICK is shaping up.

And, as I mentioned above, we shot another short film! And not just any short film, mind you. No. This one deals with the mysteries of TIME ITSELF! Oh, and wife swapping. Well, um some sort of infidelity. I can't keep it straight.

Anyway, I haven't even begun to edit the bastard, but Adam has some photos up on his blog, so check em out.

And here, for the first time, is the MAIN TITLE for the short. Yes, I spent a grand total of TEN MINUTES procrastinating the compiling of tax forms to bring you the first official image from the film (well, as official as 10 minutes can get you)!



Bask in it's half-assed glory!

You're welcome!

More from the digital confines of my micro-camera!

OH, THE HUGE MANATEE!!!!!!

Sorry, couldn't resist.

I've really taken to this camera. I'm not a good still photographer at all, but somehow it really doesn't matter. I have absolutely ZERO ego about the thing. It may be the one thing in life that I don't judge myself by. Case in point, the following pics. My photo evidence of the fleeting greatness that was (is, still is) David Patrick Lowery's ST. NICK.

7 Chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch.

And on that ranch, there was a....

...NOSTRIL BEAST!!!!!!!!!!!


"Back to work, @$$hats!" This is our new AD after the first one perished in a horrendous "cotton gin" mishap. Foul play has yet to be ruled out.

Savannah (pictured above) worked out her aggression on the crew in preparations for a scene she personally added to David's (in her words) "abomination of a script."

*****SPOILER ALERT!!!!******

An alternate ending?! No. Merely a scene stolen from the PBS classics version of Wuthering Heights, written and performed by Savannah Sears. This still was taken mere moments before the black lung carried her away on soot-coated wings.

Producer James Johnston proves, much like Colossus of the X-Men or Thor of some stupidy ol' mythology junk, that she is the strongest bearded woman alive!

Oh, child labor laws! You so crazy! I wanna have yo baby!

I have nothing humorous to say about guest-audio mixer, Barak Epstein. Primarily because he'll stab you in the friggin eye for merely looking at him sideways! What a *%$@*bag!

"I'll miss you most of all, old wooden support column!"

Wikipedia defines "BRO-MANCE" as anything having to do with this picture. Or submission wrestling. Actually, this begs the question, "what's wrong with this image?" If your answer is anything other than "there's a little girl watching this transpire," you might want to consider professional help.

The effects of 2+ weeks of low budget shooting? Or merely another example of the bro-mantic principal? Yes, the Stockholm Syndrome is a many splendor'ed thing.

That's a wrap! The production team of St. Nick ensures our child actors will not grow up to be horrible party-monsters and pop divas by means of our special "retirement camps." Here, one actress in being permanently inducted by means of a Colombian neck adjustment.

Well, until the next shoot, lounge out @$$hats!

Image courtesy of David Lowery, pervert.

This is what happens when you buy me a camera for Christmas!

So, my girlfriend bought me a really neat camera for Christmas this year. It's my first digital camera, which may seem odd, since I make my living as a Director of Photography. I've just never really been one to take pictures (as will be evident by the following photo montage). Anyway, in an effort to change all that, here are my first batch of photos from the set of ST. NICK, the new feature film directed by David Lowery (and D.P.'ed by me).

You are BANISHED!!!! Director David Lowery utilizing techniques picked up at the Eric von Stroheim institute of child actor abuse.

James Johnston before the chair broke.

Adam Donaghey with a Mark growing out of his shoulder. This is a particularly well composed shot. Scholars take note!

Mark Sharon and a juvenile delinquent.

"Lite Rock" Martin (audio), oddly, loves Death Metal.

LUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gimme that lunch! I needs it!!!!!!

Oh Gods! I have been feasted upon!

The brutal carnivore, finally sated. But for how long????

Fun with insurance policies!!!!
Rudak teaches a continuing ed class on mortuary decorative fan making.

The picture for today?

Working on sets is hard! Sooo tired. Gonna take a nap so I can send more photos later, gator!

That's SO RAVEN!

Sorry. Title means nothing. I've just been watching youtube clips from a popular Disney Channel kids' show in order to stay in touch with my core audience, i.e.--people with a third-grade education.

Anyway, I'm here to talk about two things.

THING THE FIRST: 

I cannot get Sean Young out of my head. I used to have a crush on her back when I was thirteen and she was Chani in DUNE and that other chick in BABY: SECRET OF THE LOST LEGEND. I kind of let my crush fade into obscurity during my junior high school years and, until recently, was content to never feel those stirrings again. That was, of course, until this year's DGA awards.

So, and I know this is totally old news, Ms. Young got booted from the event for allegedly heckling director Julien Schnabel, who incidentally has a name so gross sounding-- like something Jerry Lewis would blurt out in the middle of some particularly inept pratfall-- that it practically DEMANDS retribution!

Anyway, it turns out Chani has a history of getting soused and crashing Hollywood awards parties, or at least attempting to. The detail that brought back that lovin' feelin' for yours truly was a minor one to the casual observer. Apparently, sources indicate, the ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE star had been drinking a fools bounty of HARVEY WALLBANGERS!!!!



This deadly combination of vodka, orange juice, and some stupid Italian dessert liquor was the force majeure behind both her actions and my new obsession. I understand her now. Her yearnings. Her unquenchable thirst. Just thinking the words Harvey Wall-Banger makes me REQUIRE ONE...No, make that TWO! I don't care about anything else anymore, dammit! I just want Sean and I to live out a LEAVING LAS VEGAS style romance together, only with citrus-y party drinks, instead of whiskey and bathtub gin (or whatever the hell he was drinking in that movie).

So, you might say this is about the meeting of old and new. My old flame and my new drink obsession. Much like Kirk and Picard meeting in STAR TREK: GENERATIONS. Does this mean Sean Young is destined to be murdered by Malcolm McDowell? We'll have to wait until next year's DGA awards to find out.

Okay...onward and upward!

THING THE SECOND:

I lied in my previous post. I do not possess the internet savvy to set up a secure site for THE STRANGER, so f' it. Here it is, in all it's HD glory, courtesy of my vimeo site. Follow the yellow brick road of pics below to find the not-so-hidden treasure.











And then comes...


THE STRANGER from Clay Liford on Vimeo.

That, my friends, is SO RAVEN!

Whoa! Looks like somebody figured out how to use Photoshop (sort of)!

Welly, welly. I done made me a poster thingee. This is my first, inept attempt at creating some "key art," as the film kids call it, for my recent short film, The Stranger (duh!). That is my hand. Sexy, huh? Yeah, I shot that f'er myself. Just put the ol' hand on my pillow and flashed away on my 'photo device' with my free hand. Pretty cool.

Actually, this is just a concept shot for the real thing...for which I'm enlisting the assistance of a much more trained eye. My buddy Erika Ryan in Austin is a well known art director and, I'm pretty sure, poops out better posters than this every morning after a hearty helping of bran flakes.

The film is still currently on the festival circuit, so I can't put it online. Officially, that is. But, here's my plan. I'm going to load it up on my private vimeo page. You won't be able to get to it from the street, so to speak. Once it's online, I'll blog about it here, and if you want to see it, you can send me your email on my blog comments, and I'll send you the access code.

It's very super secret and stealthy. You'll feel like an international super spy. 007. Or Golgo 13 (my fave game on the original NES). What fun!

So, check back here in the coming week or so and you may be one of the (un)lucky few to witness THE STRANGER in HD on your very own 'computerized device' of your choice!

Kisses aplenty!

Clay

The Shameless Hussy That is I!

(This is actually not I. Rather it is Nick Derington--poster artist to the stars.)

I'm not even going to pussy-foot around it. I'm creating this blog entry specifically to catalogue several of the positive reviews and accolades that have surfaced for A FOUR COURSE MEAL. Seeing that we're in the midst of fundraising for several films (The Abductors is currently the front-runner), I've decided to eschew my usual self-depreciating veneer in exchange for a brand spankin' new, 'look at me' swank-atude!

So if you are one of the various people looking to invest in a Well Tailored Film, take a look at what these unbiased members of critical film society have to say about our previous effort. Wait, actually, what are you doing reading this blog? Don't you have fat checks to write?

First up is one from cinephilia.com, a fun site with reviewers who really dig interesting genre films. I like these guys' sense of humor. Okay, enough butter for them.

Next is the big one. Film Threat. It was way cool getting a good review from such a venerable institution. I attribute to this review the lion's share of interest AFCM has accrued over its lengthy life-cycle. Who could really ask for more?

When we played theatrically in Ft. Worth, I was interviewed by Ft. Worth Weekly here. It was fun and awkward at the same time. I think the article reflects that (in a good way?).

Some previous festivals we've attended are (in no particular order): The Newport Beach Film Festival, The Big Muddy Film Festival, The Deep Ellum Film Festival, The deadCENTER Film Festival, NoirDance, Fringe Media Fest and the Dallas Video Fest's Texas Filmmakers Series, which garnered us a theatrical run at the Angelika Theater. Also of note is a portion of the movie (the segment "Flowers Grown From Powdered Bones") played on PBS' Frame of Mind series.

Finally, for now (thank goodness), is a little thingee from the fine folks at the HorrorDance Film Festival. They bestowed upon my broad and powerful shoulders the mantle of Best Director (or Director's Choice or some such thing) at their 2007 festival. Lookee here!

FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY....!

So, if any of you know me, you're probably aware that my first feature (A FOUR COURSE MEAL) has been legally tied up for about a year in a release deal that hasn't panned out. As I am about to regain control of the elements, I'm lamely attempting to promote the film here and other places in order to generate interest for an upcoming DVD release.

The film is an anthology of sorts, and I have uploaded one of the longer story segments on my vimeo account until the distribution arrangements are finalized. At which point, I assume, I'll have to take it down. But, in the meantime, enjoy. If you like it, please spread the word. Press can only help us now, unless you think it sucks--in which case, keep it to yourself, buddy!

And now, our not-quite-a feature presentation...

WORKING STIFFS from Clay Liford on Vimeo.

HOLY COW!!!!!

            

                                                                                                                                           

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

So, these images aren't exactly hot-off-the-press, but they're pretty awesome nonetheless. Last year I wrote a feature comedy called CUTLET, about cows mutated by European growth hormones into super-intelligent/carnivorous/mind-control beasties. We've got the budget finalized, and are in the process of scraping together the bread to make it. The great Nick Derington once again lent his capable hand in rendering these pre-production images of several of our "hero" cows. Namely the supreme Arch-Cow, "Buttercup," and an evil drone cow named "Julia Roberts Cow."

Check out Adam Donaghey's page for the film here...

Cutlet: Veal The Terror!

 

So much sweeter in HD!

Oh yeah, baby. I just uploaded the slightly tighter version of KIDDO! onto vimeo. This great website allows you to upload HD content. So, now you can watch the scene in true widescreen quality!

Check it here...

http://vimeo.com/622405

PS--This (signed?) headshot of Lynus Turko will be on my amazon auction site for approximately 10 minutes. Bidding starts at $800.00. 

Gentlemen (and ladies.. ESPECIALLY ladies!), start your engines!!!!

KIDDO! The Movie, Scene 25: Beemer & the Bot from Clay Liford on Vimeo.

Not yer Daddy's defensive driving video...

So, this is some pre-release art from the feature film, BLOOD ON THE HIGHWAY, co-directed by Barak Epstein and Blair Rowan. I acted as the Director of Photography on it, and last week we had our first 'tech screening' at the Magnolia Theater in Dallas. Even without the final effects and audio, the film pretty much kicks ass. For all you Buffy fans, Nicholas Brendan has an extended cameo as, well, you'll just have to wait an' see. Also, Tom Towles (Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer) makes a pretty nifty appearance. 

Oh, and I play a role which I hope will be credited as 'BlackBerry Vamp.' Which, if you know me, is all too fitting.

Check out the website. The trailer is already up. Blood, indeed, flows red on this highway. Ouch! Lame line.

http://www.bloodonthehighway.com

T'ings be crazy, up in here!

So, as I commence shooting on KIDDO!, my company also has a couple of other projects in the works.

Most prominently right now is THE ABDUCTORS. A bizarre sci-fi (kinda--near future stuff--ya know, cheap sci fi) story about a little girl who is abducted for mysterious reasons, and what happens when she's returned home two weeks later, apparently unharmed, and with no ransom asked for. Things get crazy when the family receives a message from the seemingly repentant kidnappers. A warning about who or what their daughter really is. 

As Count Floyd would say, 'Scary stuff kids!'

I know it sounds like I'm making fun, but I really am excited about this one. And for a change, I have an investment team bringing in, shock of shocks, an ACTUAL BUDGET! God, I dunno what to do with real currency. I guess I'll have to do the Tony Scott thing and spend it on blow.

Anyway, here's a mock-up pre-poster (pictured above) by the great Nick Derington (Scanner Darkly)...

Albert Camus' THE STRANGER

As a tribute to one of the leading minds in human psychology, we've recently finished a short film based upon one of his most famous works...The Stranger.

A description from Amazon.com...

"This short novel by Albert Camus was written in 1946. It's about a young Algerian Frenchman, Muersault, who works at an office job and lives a dull ordinary life. He describes his mother's funeral with clarity and dispassion and, as the story unfolds, the reader sees that this detachment is the general theme of the book. He doesn't love his girlfriend but it makes no difference to him whether he marries her or not. He helps an acquaintance commit an aggressive act because he just doesn't care enough one way or another. And, eventually, he commits a murder and is arrested. The trial then focuses on this disaffected aspect of his character. The conclusion is inevitable."

Well, ours is pretty much like that, with the murder replaced with wanton and unrepentant masturbation.

It premiered at the Lonestar Film Festival (www.lsiff.com) last year to shocked response. It was programmed in a shorts block that should have been named, "Shorts with Jacking-Off as a Major Theme or Motif." Seriously, out of the seven films in the block, FIVE had some form of self-abuse on display. Maybe it had to do with the fact that all of the films were from Texas. I mean, what else is there to do around here?

I will post an IMDB page for the film shortly, and after it's done the festival rounds, I'll toss the sucker up on the inter-web. In the meantime, if you wanna see it, contact me here.

Clay

The peeps who made it all possible...

Tania and Nick Derington! Nick is an awesome comic creator and artist, having worked for Marvel as well as the indies. He was also a lead animator on A SCANNER DARKLY. He graciously let us invade his space last weekend so we could shoot a pivotal scene for KIDDO!

Check out Nick's work at his website...

www.nickderington.com

More Phat Photos Phrom the Phantasy Phun-vention

Well, that didn't really pan out the way I wanted it to. I mean the blog title. Anyhoo, here be s'more photos from the KIDDO shoot....

TOP...Adam Donaghey (producer) is busy producing a telling glance at Chris Gardner's (playing Lynus Turko) supple flank steak, while Blair Rowan attempts to forge a doctor's signature on a Lithium prescription.

BOTTOM...Sharon Wright, producer to the stars, looking like she really doesn't want this photo to end up on the internet. Looks like she's got a lot of paperwork! 

Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention...

This guy! Yen Tan (director of Happy Birthday and the soon-t0-be-released Ciao), in character as CHANG, the faithful man-servant of little Sam Mackie (the eponymous KIDDO!).

Yen is amazing. His looks are priceless. He is the Asian-incarnation (incarn-Asian?) of Harold Lloyd.

I love you Yen!

By the way, I'm writing this blog from my spacious bubble bath. You're welcome, ladies!

Kisses,

Clay  

KIDDO! The Movie...A commencement!

So, last weekend my intrepid crew of ten (or so) and I descended upon the Dallas Comic Con to shoot our very first scene for KIDDO! 

This is my second feature since a long hiatus after A FOUR COURSE MEAL (which will actually come out this year. For reals!). I'm a bit nervous about the prospect, even though I've acted as Director of Photography on something like seven films since AFCM. It's still daunting. Anyway, I assembled an amazing group of people. The actors, many of them child actors without 'formal' film experience, have exceeded my expectations. Not to mention the adults. Chris Gardner The hardest part is deciding what to cut out. It's an embarrassment of riches of comedy gold!

Many of my long-time crew has joined me in the effort. Barak Epstein (director of Prison A Go Go and the upcoming Blood on the Highway), Blair Rowan (co-writer/director of Blood on the Highway), Sharon Wright (my co-producer on AFCM) and James Johnston (GDMF, Merrily Merrily). My newbies, Adam Doneghey and the kids (Ceasar, Jayci, Sonnet and Alexis). All did an excellent job!

KIDDO! is the story of a child actor (Ceasar Vancleave) going through his mid-life crisis at 13, when he's fired off the sitcom he literally grew-up on after he hits puberty. We'll resume shooting in mid-February.  

The besties of my testies!

I just formed this silly blog so I can post updates about recent and upcoming productions from my company, Well Tailored Films.

Hope it doesn't suck.

Clay